We finally received our adoption date: August 17th. I can’t wait to have this part of the process done. The endless appointments, strangers coming into your house to make sure you are doing everything right, the waiting for documents to be signed and turned into court, etc. etc. We’re just ready to be a family and have DCFS leave us alone.
AD is doing great. She seems to be more excited now that we have a date. It’s funny, she doesn’t speak her mind very often, but when she put on Instagram that she is going to be a Stehle soon to her cousins, she said that she wouldn’t have to worry about her life anymore. I love that! I wish she would have been able to tell us verbally, but at least we know what she’s thinking and feeling. I always wonder what she’s thinking and yet she doesn’t tell us.
There are still some social issues that she needs to overcome. She hid under someone’s bed when she was feeling lonely and left out when she was visiting our son’s girlfriend. She’s learning that this is not how to react, especially as a guest of someone in their house. And, she needs to talk about how she’s feeling. If she’s feeling lonely or left out, she needs to say something. My other daughter was there too and she could have talked to her sister about it and she would have been able to help.
She still has a speech issue. This is clearly from missing two years of school since she uses a lot of slang, leaving off the -ing on words, using the wrong tense, etc. She is struggling in math because the two years she missed was when she was supposed to learn about decimals and fractions. She is doing summer school to catch up. But, I believe she will struggle throughout high school since it is such a leap between where she should be and where she is now. We are making huge strides though and I am optimistic she will do well. The trick is to convince her of that.
I find myself getting angry at her bio parents often. Most of her issues are directly related to being abandoned by her mother at a very early age and neglected by her violent father after that. Then, he simply stopped trying to get her back and never contested the severance of parental rights. At 13 years old, that has to be hard to understand why he would do that to her. She tells us of stories with her dad and they are mostly happy stories. Some stories are hard to listen to but she tells them so matter-of-factly that it doesn’t upset her anymore. Some of the things that come up I just want to shout at these parents who did such a disservice to this girl that was not deserved or wanted. And she is left picking up the pieces. Hopefully as our family gets to know her, she will feel our love and bloom. I’m waiting for the real AD to shine through.